New to Me

It's always exciting to stumble on a new teacher or author. Sometimes they are new to the scene and other times they are just new to me. Either way, a fresh take on the subject of spiritual awakening is an excellent opportunity to hear it all again for the first time. There's nothing like the great a-ha moment you get when something you may have heard a 1000 times is said in just a slightly different way and suddenly a light goes on. That's how I felt when I watched this video. It is a very short clip from one of Alan Watts' lectures. Alan Watts died in 1973 but I just stumbled on him last week.  He is greatly responsible for bringing Eastern thought (Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, etc) to the Western world in an accessible, relate-able way for us Westerners. Isn't it great that there can be so many different ways to view the universe? Isn't it wonderful that we don't have to settle for just one way; that we can find what resonates with us and dig deeper from there? If you have 4 minutes, check out this video and see if Alan Watts resonates with you like he did with me. :)

Enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMRrCYPxD0I

...and if you liked that, here's more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ8so-ld-l0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-u5LE6X6ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJStjV4HkSE

A Time for Everything

This is an interpretation of the 29th verse of the Tao Te Ching. It makes for a lovely morning meditation.

Do you think you can take over the universe and improve it?

I do not believe it can be done.

Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and cannot be controlled.

Trying to control leads to ruin.

Trying to grasp, we lose.

Allow your life to unfold naturally.

Know that it too is a vessel of perfection.

Just as you breathe in and breathe out,

there is a time for being ahead

and a time for being behind;

a time for being in motion

and a time for being at rest;

a time for being vigorous

and a time for being exhausted;

a time for being safe

and a time for being in danger.

To the sage

all of life is movement toward perfection,

so what need has he

for the excessive, the extravagant, or the extreme?

The Tao Te Ching is a book of wisdom thought to be written by Lao-tzu 2,500 years ago using 5,000 Chinese characters.  There have been thousands of interpretations of the Tao, this one comes from Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life - Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

Bowling Anyone?

We went bowling yesterday. Just my husband, son and I. It was my idea. We hadn't done anything just the 3 of us for a while and we wanted to get out and have a little fun. And though it was my idea, and I was excited about it, there was a little voice in the back of my head saying, "What do you think you're doing here? Trying to bowl with an oxygen tank strapped to your back and ridiculously low lung function? This is a crazy idea!" But I ignored the voice and continued to our lane. Picking up a 9 lb ball, (I looked for lighter but the finger holes were too small!) I took a breath and marched down the lane with a 1,2,3,4 throw count I learned from the bowling lessons my grandma gave a cousin of mine and I way back when we were 12.  Some things just stick with you.

At first the doomsday voice in my head got very loud, pointing out just how difficult this was, noting how out of breath I was and doubting I would recover in time for my next turn.  And in fact I gave my son a couple of my turns. But I stuck with it and I did alright, fairly consistently knocking down 7-9 pins, getting the occasional spare and coming close to a strike a few times (I was robbed I tell you, robbed!). We played 2 games. At the end of the first game I thought I might just sit the 2nd game out and cheer the boys on from my seat, but instead I kept going. And it got easier. In fact I began to feel like I was getting my second (or really 1st) wind.

On the last frame I almost passed on my turn, but then changed my mind. I grabbed my ball and thought, why not? Why not seize the moment? Why give it away? Just do it. You never know when you'll be bowling again.  Enjoy the moment. And I did. And I bowled a strike in the last frame! The coveted time to strike because you get to play an extra frame. So I grabbed my ball and went again, 1,2,3,4 and zoom - another strike! My boys went wild. Go again? Alright. I approached the lane a 3rd time 1,2,3,4 and promptly threw it straight in the gutter. Ah well! Back to reality I guess! It didn't matter. I felt like you do when you complete a really physically demanding exercise - like an intense interval training or something similar. I was exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. And I was proud of myself. Proud that I had pushed through the challenge and ignored the doubting voice in my head and pleased that I was actually able to do it. It felt really good. And even though I know I'll be paying the price a bit today with a sore shoulder or arm, it will be totally worth it for the experience of living fully for a little while.  And, incidentally, I won that last game :)

I write this with the intention of illustrating how important it is to quiet the doubting voice that we all have. The one that limits us. We all face challenges in our life and I don't pretend to have greater challenges than anyone else. My desire is simply to share in a personal way that when we leave behind the voice that tells us we can't do something and instead believe in ourselves, we can push through some of our challenges and come out on the other side feeling great; having learned a little bit more about who we are and what we are capable of. It's nothing new or earth shattering to be sure, but it is a good reminder.

Happy Dance

    Spring On!

Springing Forth

The open palm of desire

Wants everything

It wants everything

It wants soil as soft as summer

And the strength to push like spring.

Further to Fly, Paul Simon

This song has been playing on repeat in my head all weekend, especially the last line. The strength to push like spring. In that simple, poignant way that Paul Simon has with words he creates a picture and a feeling in one line. The strength to push like spring. Spring… How is it every year I develop a sort of spring amnesia? I can barely remember what it feels like to go outside barefoot and feel the warm sun on my arms. I can barely remember what my redbud looks like when it is in full bloom or the apple tree blossoms. And what exactly does it sound like to hear song birds in your back yard or the hum of those strange bees that try to burrow into the wood of our gazebo every year? And that spring scent, that hard fought for sweetness which can only be found in the Midwest?  It always seems like a dream at this time of year. And yet despite all indicators being to the contrary – the brown frozen ground, the bare trees, the snowflakes that swirled around me this morning – we know spring will come. Even before the first Robins appear and the crocuses pop up. Even before we note the lengthening of days, we know it will come. We have faith. We have faith that spring is strong enough to push through winter, that life will win out again in the cycle of our year. And even if Mother Nature appears to be turning a blind eye to the spring vernal equinox, we know she’ll come around eventually. We know, eventually, that winter must loosen its grip and give way to spring. The funny thing is we have absolutely no control over when that will be. We have no choice but to let it go and let it come.  But we are strong too, so we take a breath and we keep the faith as the strength of spring moves inward and pushes us along.

Happy Pi Day!

It's Pi day! 3-14 It's the middle of March and with the winter we have had here in the Midwest we're borderline desperate for things to celebrate. So bake a pie, buy a pie, talk someone who bakes into making you a pie. Some how, some way get our hands on a piece of pie. And while you're at it, stick a candle in it in honor of Albert Einstein who was born on this day in 1879.  More than a genius theoretical physicist, he was wise beyond his time. Some of my favorite Einstein quotes are listed below.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. 

Imagination encircles the world."

"There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; 

you can live as if everything is a miracle."

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. 

The important thing is to not stop questioning."

"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. 

It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to get different results."

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning,Viktor Frankl (psychologist, neurologist and holocaust survivor) talks about an exercise he did with patients who were suffering from deep regret or depression. He asked them to imagine themselves very old and on their deathbed. He then asked them to reflect back on their life.  Was it meaningful? Was there value and purpose in it? Was this a life you were proud to have led? 

This is such a powerful exercise to do for yourself. Imagining yourself at the end of your physical life puts everything into perspective.  Whether or not every meal turned out delicious and nutritious becomes a lot less important than did I raise my child to have good values or did I show kindness and compassion to others?  Was I a good friend, wife, father, son, daughter? Was I kind to myself and did I live each day to the fullest?  What a great exercise to highlight what is of real value in our lives and what we could probably let go of.

When I did this exercise I realized that I truly had lived a wonderful life. Not that I had done everything perfectly, certainly not! But I was glad about many of the choices I had made. In reflection, my mistakes seemed less traumatic while the lessons I'd learned from them seemed to be far more important.  I even noticed a richness to life that I think so often gets lost in the steady hum of day to day life. In the end I found renewed enthusiasm for life. Isn't it funny how imagining being at the end of one's life can bring about a new energy for living it?

The Power of Vulnerability

Enjoy this entertaining and insightful TED talk by author and researcher Brene' Brown. My cousin shared this video with me a few years ago and I still get a little something more from it every time I watch it.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

Be still...

To Worry or Not to Worry

The funny thing about worrying is that it is completely useless, and yet we do it all the time. In fact I think we are convinced that if we don't worry about something or someone, we aren't really doing our job. If we don't worry about our kids or our friends or family, then does that mean we don't care about them? If we don't worry about our future, does that mean we won't have one to go to? There is a quote written on the chalkboard of a coffee shop I like to go to: "Worrying is a waste of the imagination!" It makes me smile every time, because it is so true. If we could imagine anything for ourselves, our planet, our loved ones, wouldn't we want to imagine positive outcomes? 

I also love Mark Twain's observation when he said, "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." How many times have I worst case scenario'd something right down to the dramatic music playing, only to have the tragedy averted and all be well moments later?!

And then there are the ever wise words of the Dalai Lama, "If a problem is fixable, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever."

And lastly, if we could just trust this...

In response to the incessant blathering of my inner critic...

Though you claim to be the expert in all things right and perfect in my life, on how I should be living and what I should be doing, it occurs to me, rather suddenly really, that there is the slightest chance that you are wrong. Yes. Wrong.
And if there is the slightest chance that you might be wrong about all the things that you say I am not - like strong enough, brave enough, smart enough, thoughtful enough, or plain old good enough - then that slight chance deserves a little exploring. I mean...
What if I was strong enough?
What if I was actually brave and quite thoughtful really?
And what if, just maybe, I was good enough exactly as I am?
Oh the implications!
And if I am all these things, then it stands to reason that everyone is. That each and every one of us are enough exactly as we are right now. Yes. Right. Now.